SELECTED PUBLISHED ARTICLES

DEN OF GEEK FEATURES – www.denofgeek.com

TV’s Most Shocking TV Character Deaths 

The wasted potential of Prison Break

The Sopranos: the greatest show ever made

MAGAZINES

Fear and Lothian – a ghostly tour of the Lothians, published in Paranormal Magazine

Goodbye… My Precious – a sad recount of the passing of the family cat, published in The Cat, a national pet magazine.

SCOTTISH COMEDY FC – www.scottishcomedyfc.com

Jamie Andrew Hates Football and Football Fans – published on the Scottish Comedy FC website

ORIGINAL SHORT FICTION

The Trench – a dystopian tale set in a quarantined town

The Tell-Tale Fridge – the lengths one man will go to find a friend

Blakey the Jakey – fairytale meets the real world in this Buckfast-soaked serialised story set on a Scottish council estate

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE

PROMOTION/STAND-UP

Now That’s What I Call Funny – poster and ticket links for 2013 three-hander show as part of the Glasgow International Comedy Festival

A brief mention in a review of Red Raw @ The Stand – Speaks for itself, really. www.thestand.co.uk – Scotland and Northern England’s premier stand-up club.

Being an Open Spot – short Q&A in the Falkirk Herald

Bizarre news stories from around the world. All true, honest, guv.

Part 1 – Jackson’s Brain Goes on Rampage

Part 2 – Game Shows Have Ties to Kremlin

Part 3 – New Pope Builds Robots

Part 4 – A Stroke of Luck: Thatcher’s Funeral

Special Report: How Tesco Takes Over the World

Report from the Infectious Disease Conference

Jesus is a Jerk

Jesus loves you – that’s the problem

New Government Health Warnings – Smoking is Awesome 

Let it RIP – The Obituary of the Farting Preacher

Ice Bucket Challenge – THE MOVIE

MSN Picture Editor’s Last Day

The Tail of the Christmas Canine Part 1

The Tail of the Christmas Canine Part 2

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For...

A Rather Childish Tongue Twister

On JAMIE’S GUIDE TO POLITICS

Part 1: The BNP

Part 2: Labour

MISC

Do It the George Gallo-Way

Vote for the Dinner Party

On viral campaigns to raise awareness – Ice Bucket Challenge

A Q&A with the NO campaign (Scottish referendum)

Are we sick of the referendum campaign already?

Scotland decides… what to watch on TV (referendum)

Reflections on the Scottish referendum result 2014

MISC

A Plea to Fate – a pre-holiday prayer to the Gods of ‘Please don’t kill me.’

Oh, For Fucked Snake – snake murdering in the Turkish countryside

TRAVEL LOWDOWNS

Memories of Marmaris – An inane guide to the Turkish holiday resort

PART ONE PART TWO

Guest writers nominating their villains of the week. But villain spelled with a ‘c’. And an ‘unt.’

2012

Thomas Wotherspoon – North Carolina

Rik Carranza – Mattel

Richard Hunter – Argyll and Bute Council

Fraser Edwards – Real Ale drinkers

Euan Meikle – The Queen

Jordan RA Mills – Megabus

John McGoldrick – Customers

Robin Grainger – Social media sites

Gregor Wappler – The Edinburgh Festival

James Walker – Little Ant and Dec

Peter Wood – The X-Factor

Ross Leslie – Matt Bendoris and The Sun

Hannah Baillie – Supermarket Sweep

2013

Jonny Seaton – A surprising nomination

Will Richards – Australians

Chronicling the contents of my primary school jotters, from the ages of 6 to 10.

PRIMARY 3

Pt 1: Fighting the Man

Pt 2: The Comic

Pt 3: Wild, Wild West

Pt 4: A Fanny Pad Halloween

Pt 5: The World’s Most Boring Shed

Pt 6: Skating on Thin Shite

PRIMARY 2

Pt 1: Bamlet

Pt 2: Christmas Fireplace Nightmare

Pt 3: The Robot

Pt 4: Billy Connock

Pt 5: Big Chief Little Jamie

Pt 6: Swinging the Baths

Pt 7: The Martyr

Pt 8: Animal Farm

Pt 9: The Jokebook

Pt 10: Sleeping With a Dog

Waiter, Waiter, There’s a Lie in My Soup – Our experience in Frankie and Benny’s restaurant

Thoughts on ‘love’ – Waxing philosophical and cynical

Yer ‘avin a Giraffe – My take on Facebook’s biggest meme of 2013

Say What, Momma? – A wee murder causes a stir

Pet cemetery – a rather long, funny and sad look at the death of pets

Pack Your Bags, Obama – an unusual take on the 2012 US election

26 Fun Facts About Me – and they’re all true

Sit on my face – reaction to new 2014 porn laws

Skinflats and the Magic Torch – the Olympic flame passes through a small Scottish village

Happy Birthday? – on fearing the reaper on your birthday

Circus Vegas – a review, of sorts, of the circus coming to Falkirk

Toast Tae the Lassies – a little bit of Burns’ night misogyny

Why Advertising is Full of Shit – introducing the poo kittens

Remembering Gately-Gate – a response to Jan Moir’s article about the death of Stephen Gately

Culture Jamming Gallery – PART ONE PART TWO

Bore Drummond Safari Park PART ONE PART TWO – A trip to the safari park

Personality-themed Cupcakes – a birthday treat

The Rain in June Falls Mostly on the Toon – reflections on the Grangemouth Gala Day

Jamie Andrew on Jamie Andrew – concerning one of my stand-up routines

The Dr Wants to See Your Box Filled – doctors drowning in bureaucracy

Remember the Spectrum, Grandpa – in which I’m old before my time

Violence: It’s All in the Game – video-game nasties

Beauty Pageant: Scotland Style – the Miss Falkirk Contest 2012

THE ANSWER BAG BALL-BAG

What happened when I took to solving people’s problems on-line

PART 1     PART 2     PART 3

LETTERS AND EMAILS

Greggs: A Tale of Pork Pies and Racism – venting my racially-motivated fury at Gregg’s customer service

Space Raiders Killed My Son – an angry letter to KP Foods

Geez a Job, Loaded – an actual letter I sent to Loaded magazine, hoping they’d employ me

‘You’ll Find That in the Vaginal Fantasy Section, Sir.’ – the daft ways in which books are categorised

50 Shades of Shite – a look at the bean-flicking phenomenon of 50 Shades…

50 Shades of Jew – a WWII-set spoof of 50 Shades’ first chapter

Derek Acorah is great… at making money

CHANNEL SURFING

Kids TV – Rainbow: A work of true evil

Kids TV – The madness of Greenclaws

A Recipe for Kitchen Nightmares – How Chef Ramsay does it

John Lewis Christmas Ad 2013: Director’s Cut – How it SHOULD have gone down

Fresh Prince of Jihad – A riff on Will Smith’s iconic theme tune

Red Dwarf – Great X-pectations – A piece written prior to transmission of series X

Sieg Kyle – A loving look at the Jeremy Kyle Show

I’m Dead, I’m Dead, You Know it, I’m Dead – Derek Acorah raises Michael Jackson from the dead

Derek Acorah is a Mentalist – Derek’s Sky 1 TV psychic show

Postman Pat Redux – Pat updated for a gritty, post-9/11 world

TV REVIEWS/RETROSPECTIVES

Biggest TV Disappointments of 2013: The Following

The 24 finale

The Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 9 Review

Sons of Anarchy Finale Prediction

The most striking TV moments of 2018

TV Review: The Orville, Red Dwarf, Star Trek Discovery – Oct 2017

Entering HBO’s ‘Leaving Neverland’ with an open mind – 2019

The 5 worst TV shows of 2017

The Doctor Falls: A haunting look at love, loss, death and hope – 2017

Jamie on the box – After Life and The Walking Dead, 4/4/19

MOVIE REBOOTS 

Next Friday the 13th

Come Shine With Me

Allan vs Predator

An American Teenage Werewolf in London, Too

White Van Man Helsing

28 James Mays Later

John Candyman

The Omen Pigeon

THE BEST SHITTEST FILMS

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Twilight (2008)

MISC

Space: The Final Cashier – When Disney bought the rights to Star Wars