It’s not very tasteful to mock the dead, so I’ve decided to mock these guys for being dead while they’re still alive. I tried to imagine how the tabloids would cover their deaths on the front pages, if the tabloids were owned by me and I didn’t care about things like being sued or being universally despised.

Apologies to anyone outside the UK reading this, because you probably won’t have a bloody clue who most of these people are.

Without any further ado, take THAT, you alive bastards!